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cheeseburger Horse Mullet
Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 187
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 4:46 am Post subject: the chicken |
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Sorry in advance if offended anybody
Why did the chicken cross the road?
DR. PHIL:>>The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must>first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes>after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is>help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'>problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:>>Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he>wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn>from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to>give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not>live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:>>We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to>know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is>either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:>>Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of>the chicken crossing the road...
JOHN KERRY:>>Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!>It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's>intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:>>That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his>eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:>>To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:>>No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a>standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price>dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider>information.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:>>To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:>>Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's>why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.>And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all>chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white>washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken>should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:>>In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us>the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:>>Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the>chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it>experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life>long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:>>It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:>>Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:>>I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but>will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.>Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is>much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:>>Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the>chicken?
BILL CLINTON:>>I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of>chicken?>
AL GORE:>>I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:>>Did I miss one?
Richard CHENEY :>>Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:>>Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens
Yes, I'll put my name on it
Cheeseburger _________________ You only live once. Do it right! |
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ironmanstan Exalted Ruler of Flour Bluff

Joined: 04 Oct 2006 Posts: 12256
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 7:51 am Post subject: |
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IMS....The chicken crossed the road because he heard the fishing was better on the otherside.  _________________ I LIKE MINE FRIED. |
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Damo Flour Bluffian in training

Joined: 13 Mar 2006 Posts: 422 Location: San Antonio
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 8:23 am Post subject: Re: the chicken |
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| cheeseburger wrote: |
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:>>To die in the rain. Alone.
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The Hemingway one always cracks me up. Not sure what that say's about me.....
And it's interesting how the ads read the post. When I saw it, the ad was for chicken ringtones. Anyway......
Damo _________________ Don't let your meat loaf - Cheech Marin |
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gonefishing Flour Bluffian in training

Joined: 27 Dec 2007 Posts: 335 Location: Corpus Christi, TX
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:57 am Post subject: Once upon a time... |
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I lived right across the road from the chicken.
I expect a few people will know exactly where I'm talking about. |
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hereford Finger Mullet
Joined: 25 Apr 2007 Posts: 37
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 2:23 pm Post subject: |
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| I didn't see anything on there about Hillary or Barack Hussein Obama. |
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ccbobber Full Grown Flour Bluffian
Joined: 21 May 2006 Posts: 2359 Location: The Island
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:22 pm Post subject: chicken |
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i believe that the proper form should be: the chicken crossed the road to be on the FARSIDE. had a great time in vegas(what all losers say) but am sure glad to be home. _________________ ccbobber |
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