Corpusfishing.com

[skunked]

An old, blind cowboy wonders into an all-female biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waitress; "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says; Before you tell joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

l. The bartender is a blonde woman with a baseball bat.
2. the bouncer is a blonde woman with a Taser.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler.

"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke/"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters; "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[Tyler]

[Mad Dog]

Now THAT one made me laugh.

MD
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Ego piscor, ergo sum

http://s175.photobucket.com/albums/w150/cstockton/Aquasport/

[Skillzzz9]

Sweet
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[Kattelyn]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, 'OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.'

[Rebecca of Sunnybrookfarm]

ROTFLMAO! that's a good one katelyn!
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[Kattelyn]

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.. A very attractive blonde woman from South Carolina arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.. She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.' With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice and yelled, 'Come on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!'

As the dice bounced and came to a stop, she jumped up-and- down and
squealed 'YES! YES! I WON! I WON!'


She hugged each of the dealers....and then picked up her winnings, and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked,'What did she roll?' The other answered, 'I don't know... I thought you were watching.'




Moral of the story:
(1) Not all Southerners are stupid.
(2) Not all blondes are dumb.
(3) But all men.... are men

[Kattelyn]

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde stops behind him. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again, jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you're losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you're losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says, "Hi, my name is Mark. It's winter, it's snowing, and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

[Yegua33]

THe police have issued a public announcement warning about a new crime wave that is targeting middleaged men in bars. Apparently groups of attractive young women are working together on these and they are well orchestrated and organized. This is how they work. They approach the victim in the bar. Friends arrive and they all seem to be happily entertained. They convince the slightly tipsy victim to dance. On the dance floor they rub their scantily clad bodies on the victim then proceed to steal wallets, phones etc.
This one happens to be true... I was a victim. I was robbed last friday....and the saturday before that...twice on thursday the 16th once the 12th and twice on the 6th as well.
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If the minimums werent good enough....they wouldnt be the minimums.

[texancare]

A blonde calls the fire department and yells that her house is on fire. The dispacther ask's "O K miss how do we get there?" In whitch she said, "Duh, the big red truck" !
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Danny

[Tyler]

This one just makes me laugh

[rabbit]

BOB & THE BLONDE


Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did too, but didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money...
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Fishing and Kayaking its a rough life but somebody has to do it.

[snakecan2]

good ones..
a great way to head up stairs to the red hair mrs the waits for me..

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Fish and Hunt Baby.... so tight lines and clear scopes.

[fishmicki]

two blondes are walking in the woods when they come upon some tracks....first blonde "looks like deer tracks" second blonde "no, they are moose tracks" first blonde..."no, deer" second blonde..."no, moose"
they were still arguing when the train hit them!
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No matter where you go, there you are....

[hornytoadx3]

Hey my wife is a Blonde!!!! But for some strange reason I can't stop laughing at these jokes. Keep it up guys!!!! I have a few but this is a family atmosphere.
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When the going gets tough,the tough go fishing...