Corpusfishing.com

[The Trash Heap]

"If you don't read the newspaper
you are uninformed, if you do
read the newspaper you are
misinformed."
Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot.
And suppose you were a member of Congress....
But then I repeat myself.
-Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-.George Bernard Shaw

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man .which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
-G Gordon Liddy

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
-James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
-Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
-P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
-Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-Ronald Reagan (1986)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-Will Rogers

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
-P.J. O'Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
-Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
-Pericles (430 B.C.)

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
-Mark Twain (1866)

Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
-Unknown

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
-Ronald Reagan

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-Mark Twain

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

There is no distinctly Native American criminal class..save Congress.
-Mark Twain

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
-Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson
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The Trash Heap Has Spoken!
NNYYAAAHH!!!

[NaplesJohn]

Good stuff!

[mansfieldjetties]

pretty cool.
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"Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught."

[rabbit]

Thanks johnny. Those were funny
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Fishing and Kayaking its a rough life but somebody has to do it.

[kyle]

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline; It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
-- Frank Zappa

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-- Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-- Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer.
-- Plato

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-- Catherine Zandonella

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
-- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
-- His reply.

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
-- David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
-- Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
-- Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
-- David Moulton

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
-- Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
-- Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
-- Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
-- Dave Barry

I drink to make other people interesting.
-- George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.
-- Washington Irving

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-- Dean Martin
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SURE DO MISS THE BLUFF

[The Trash Heap]

kyle, re:

[kyle]

I got a few speech impaired relatives who have always pronounced it "currs" light
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SURE DO MISS THE BLUFF

[Tyler]

[ironmanstan]

mark twain, had a way with words.
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I LIKE MINE FRIED.

[medic6]

Great quotes, but being on the subject of beer. In a number of controlled trials, scientist have recently demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do not run that risk when drinking beer or any other alcoholic beverage because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
water=poop
beer=health
"Therfore, it's better to drink beer and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of ____."
There's no need to thank me for this valuable information, I'm doing is as a public service.
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"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I mean."

[medic6]

Muphy's Lesser Known Laws:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there'e a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.
8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
10. When you go into court, you a putting yourself in the the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I mean."

[Big Ed]

As near as I can remember one of Churchill's quotes it is "it is a cold hearted young man who is not a liberal, but it is a foolish old man who is not a conservative." That's not it exactally but that is the gist of it.
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Big Ed
San Antonio

"A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need advice.", Bill Cosby