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Big John at work
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 Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 11:01 am Post subject: Thrity 1-liners that will make you laugh |
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1.. My wife and I divorced over religious differences.
She thought she was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6.. Don't take life too seriously--no one gets out alive.
7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
11.. Gone crazy - Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19.. Procrastinate Now!
20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park some where else!
24..They called it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25..He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up
three thousand times the memory on your hard drive.
27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for
a pig.
28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."
Will Rogers |
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The Irishman
Mud Minnow
Joined: 27 Apr 2005
Posts: 23
Location: San Antonio
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| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 11:22 am Post subject: |
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I love the" mad cow" one.
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"Fish On"! |
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carlb
Finger Mullet
Joined: 11 Aug 2004
Posts: 68
Location: Corpus at work, 5 Pts. at home, else PINS!
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| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:43 pm Post subject: One more |
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Big John,
I always wanted to be someone.
I guess I should have been more specific.*
Regards,
Carl B.
*stolen off the 'net
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"Hooks shined while you wait; no charge." - Mr. BaitRobber |
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